Burns night toasts - help anyone?

No doubt there are many Scottish ex-pats in the SE1 community who have experience of Burns night Toasts.... I am charged with the Response FROM the Lassies and so far the t'inter has failed me in terms of ideas. Thoughts very welcome on words you may have heard that worked before?

Here are a few ideas:

Where to celebrate Burns Night in London 2011

Someone has to toast the haggis I vaguely remember from the only Burns night I have been too, but don't remember if that is part of a responding speech or a full toast on its own!

My wife is Scottish and I had to do this a couple of years ago. My biggest problem was that the speech before was by Malcolm Rifkind, who is experienced and a barrister.

Basically pour gentle scorn on Burns, who was an appalling womaniser,but do quote him, for some reason the Scots love it, and a have a few soft digs at the ladies. I talked about my wife's handbag and its ability to turn into a Bermuda triangle. You could see men and women in the audience nodding.

Don't be rude, poke fun.

Good luck, and leave the drinking till afterwards

We are here tonight to celebrate that great Jewish poet Rabbi Burns (That's a joke)

Sorry to hijack the thread but does anyone know if Tesco's or Asda sell Haggis?
I've not had time to check yet but would fancy a wee solitary haggis on burns night.

don't know but Greensmiths in Lower Marsh will order it for you

I am sure that someone recites the poem - Wee timorous beastie... and uses a dagger to stab the haggis at the line gush forward the entrails... or somethin similar

if everyone is force fed whisky i think it will be a riotous occasion no matter what

mrman wrote:

Sorry to hijack the thread but does anyone know if Tesco's or Asda sell Haggis?
I've not had time to check yet but would fancy a wee solitary haggis on burns night.

Asda old Kent road had them last week

Someone has to toast the lassies as I recall.