Tell me a joke...

It's a very dull day in the office and I could do with a laugh..

Bet it ain't as dull as mine. I just had to type this piece of garbage:

"Planning is on the ascent. After many years as the Cinderella planning is now being invited to the ball. "

It's from the forward to a 24 page magazine supplement on e-planning and it was written by Keith Hill MP.

Go on, tell us a joke. Or shoot me.

i have just completed an online version of tetris.

please someone give me something to liven up my day

not a joke but quite amusing someone sent me this today



You may not know that many non-living things have a
gender;
> >
> > For example...
> >
> > 1) Freezer Bags -- They are Male, because they hold
everything in,
> > but you can see right through them.
> >
> > 2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off,
it takes a
>while
> > to
> > warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device
if the
> > right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the
wrong buttons
> > are
>pushed.
> >
> > 3) Tyres -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often
over-inflated.
> >
> > 4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go
anywhere, you
>have
> > to
> > light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air
part.
> >
> > 5) Sponges -- female because they're soft, squeezable and
retain
>water.
> >
> > 6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit
on.
> >
> > 7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to
pick people
>up.
> >
> > 8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight
shifts to the
> > bottom.
> >
> > 9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over
the last
> > 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
> >
> > 10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd
be male. But
> > consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost
without it,
> > and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to
push, he keeps
> > trying.
> >

Police found the owner of an ice-cream parlour, dead on his premises yesterday. The body was covered in chocolate sauce and hundreds and thousands. They're not looking for anyone else, as they think he may have topped himself.

see, now I laughed. Out loud too.

The old ones are the old ones!!!

Tell me another

I'd do the Mr Whippy joke but I can't find an adequate emoticon for that action.

I know the joke - you made me laugh out loud remembering it!

More... more...

it was reported by the police that they had dragged a very badly decomposed male body out of the river. They were having trouble identifying it, but they could tell that he had a very small 'male appendage'. My brother rang me up to check if I was ok!